Before August 2010 started there was a buzz that having 5 Sundays, 5 Mondays, 5 Tuesdays, all in one month only happens every 823 years. Looking closely though, the next time we get five Sundays, Mondays and Tuesdays in August will be August 2021... or just 10 years from now!
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Its midnight Monday.
Last Monday, we witnessed a historical desecration of the Luneta grounds because of the blunder laden hostage tragedy. There's finger pointing left and right and lots of I-told-you-so declarations of the equally inept self-righteous. Undeniably, one man in the person of Sgt. Mendoza caused a stir.
Today, we commemorate National Heroes Day. It was intended for Filipinos to remember specifically the Cry of Pugadlawin. More than a hundred years ago, about 500 Katipuneros took that historical leap to fight the Spaniards with their seemingly simple yet very symbolic act of "pagpunit ng cedula". May the spirit of Pugadlawin resonate more than the reactive banging and clanging of today's news.
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When I was a student, I would rejoice over declarations of non-school day. Yehey! Walang pasok. That means I could sleep late, watch TV or go someplace else with the family even if my teachers gave projects which I'd cram to finish the night before.
As an employee, I would try to conceal that excitement whenever someone asks whether so and so date was declared a non-working day. I would research, check my network and after confirmation from Malacanang or DOLE, craft an official announcement. Yehey! Walang pasok.
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Now, I understand that holidays are declared as non-working day to give us time to think, reflect and re-connect.
Now, I know better. I am more attuned to reality, more honest with my feelings and no amount of poking would make me jump off of my seat unless it truly resonates.
Now, I know that no matter how rare an event seems or how special someone is, just like bad moments and bad people I know it will all come to pass.
Sunday, August 29, 2010
Saturday, August 7, 2010
Quitters Win Too
A winner never quits and a quitter never wins...or so they say.
After a series of life's twists and turns I've come to realize otherwise. I now see that NOT quitting is a sign of weakness. People so unbreakable and caught up on their own obsession might just be plain and simple stupid or a victim of their own stubborness. I should know...I've been one for several times and on different occasions.
There were quite a few times when I do or go through something over and over again and pray really really hard with so much hope and anticipation for something different to happen. There were countless cool-offs and mini-break ups, stressful silence and high-powered word wars...after each stressful encounter I would often succumb to my ideal that I'd like my first to be my last...I wanted the relationship to work no matter what. I also wanted to stay in the company I loved so dearly like it was more than home...I wanted to stay there until retirement actually. I was too stubborn not to quit...my stupidity grew over time and got the better of me.
At the height of things, I thought it was just a test of patience. Maybe God is testing me if I really wanted it. After each acid test I thought I'd have a stronger and happier relationship or a more successful and promising career only to realize quite late that there is no surface left to burn. I was burned-out! There is nothing more to test for there is nothing left but blotches of bad memories and a broken spirit.
I used to think that if I put my entire mind, heart and being, even the ethereal me add it with hard work, determination, persistence and prayers things will be fine eventually. Now I as I see it, maybe I was just deluding myself that by going through all the unnecessary sacrifice I am harnessing holiness. Yes, it unnecessary for I now believe that people are meant to be truly happy. Staying just prolongs the agony of not growing up. There is nothing funny staying little for so long. Let go, grow up and let God rule! Let us be tall and happy!
Letting go or quitting actually means more hard work. Can it be that we are merely saying we are determined when in fact it means we are too lazy or too afraid to try something different? Face the "inconvenient truth"! Letting go entails going out and beyond our long-held perceptions, life-long dreams and taking the risk to go to unchartered grounds meeting strangers. It means looking not just outside the box and out of our comfort zone but checking out the box from all angles and discern which zone we are in and where we'd like to go. It might even mean tossing the box all together and create whatever shape we'd like our new world to be.
I do not advocate quitting mind you. For all its worth, give your all but know your limits. If we give the same amount of energy to something new rather than push pointlessly a square peg in a round hole, maybe things will be a lot better. Could it be that we fail to recognize that there is a Higher Being who could work something out which is more fittingly ours? May we find comfort in His words that "nothing is impossible". If one truly believes this, we probably won't kill ourselves wanting something. After much discernment, when you quit on the right stuff, at the right moment and done the right way quitting can become your way to win bigger. Be determined for worthwhile things which make you happy. After all, why sweat on stuff that takes away your life and sanity?
A winner never quits and a quitter never wins? Let us be wiser to know this is not to be taken at face value. A winner knows when to quit. A wise quitter is better than a foolish go-getter. In this sense...quitter's win too.
After a series of life's twists and turns I've come to realize otherwise. I now see that NOT quitting is a sign of weakness. People so unbreakable and caught up on their own obsession might just be plain and simple stupid or a victim of their own stubborness. I should know...I've been one for several times and on different occasions.
There were quite a few times when I do or go through something over and over again and pray really really hard with so much hope and anticipation for something different to happen. There were countless cool-offs and mini-break ups, stressful silence and high-powered word wars...after each stressful encounter I would often succumb to my ideal that I'd like my first to be my last...I wanted the relationship to work no matter what. I also wanted to stay in the company I loved so dearly like it was more than home...I wanted to stay there until retirement actually. I was too stubborn not to quit...my stupidity grew over time and got the better of me.
At the height of things, I thought it was just a test of patience. Maybe God is testing me if I really wanted it. After each acid test I thought I'd have a stronger and happier relationship or a more successful and promising career only to realize quite late that there is no surface left to burn. I was burned-out! There is nothing more to test for there is nothing left but blotches of bad memories and a broken spirit.
I used to think that if I put my entire mind, heart and being, even the ethereal me add it with hard work, determination, persistence and prayers things will be fine eventually. Now I as I see it, maybe I was just deluding myself that by going through all the unnecessary sacrifice I am harnessing holiness. Yes, it unnecessary for I now believe that people are meant to be truly happy. Staying just prolongs the agony of not growing up. There is nothing funny staying little for so long. Let go, grow up and let God rule! Let us be tall and happy!
Letting go or quitting actually means more hard work. Can it be that we are merely saying we are determined when in fact it means we are too lazy or too afraid to try something different? Face the "inconvenient truth"! Letting go entails going out and beyond our long-held perceptions, life-long dreams and taking the risk to go to unchartered grounds meeting strangers. It means looking not just outside the box and out of our comfort zone but checking out the box from all angles and discern which zone we are in and where we'd like to go. It might even mean tossing the box all together and create whatever shape we'd like our new world to be.
I do not advocate quitting mind you. For all its worth, give your all but know your limits. If we give the same amount of energy to something new rather than push pointlessly a square peg in a round hole, maybe things will be a lot better. Could it be that we fail to recognize that there is a Higher Being who could work something out which is more fittingly ours? May we find comfort in His words that "nothing is impossible". If one truly believes this, we probably won't kill ourselves wanting something. After much discernment, when you quit on the right stuff, at the right moment and done the right way quitting can become your way to win bigger. Be determined for worthwhile things which make you happy. After all, why sweat on stuff that takes away your life and sanity?
A winner never quits and a quitter never wins? Let us be wiser to know this is not to be taken at face value. A winner knows when to quit. A wise quitter is better than a foolish go-getter. In this sense...quitter's win too.
Friday, July 30, 2010
Secure with Insecurity
The gospel today talks about Jesus' background being questioned and criticized by people from his own home town. People raised their brows and took offense at him. Who is he? Who does he think he is? Why will someone who is so like us claim to be above all us? Where did he get his wisdom? Why can he do marvelous work? In effect, what they seem to really say is why him and not me?
Fastforward 2000 years, this episode in the gospel remains to be real and relevant. This is probably the curse of comparison which leads to the cancer called jealousy.
There was a time when I secretly wanted to be a man who's 10years my senior. I also wanted my name to be more foreign sounding and my family be a whole lot richer. I felt those traits would make me more respectable, appear more successful and be more commanding. I realized just like Jesus, no matter how much I try to be fit-in and be pleasant I will never be spared from self-righteous fault finders who are perfectly critical of mostly everything. Now that I know better, I am happy to be me--young, female, Filipino, God-fearing yet driven.
Although I try not to get affected by such people, their mere presence really shake my world and prey me to make more mistakes. I really hate character terrorists! Whether they do it up-front, side-ways or back-stab me in the process, I abhor their ways. It just doesn't suit my nature. I feel they are the culprits of low productivity, unhappiness, sleepless nights and stressful days.
The reading today gives me comfort as it reminds me that my life here on earth is but temporary. I may not be able get the appreciation much less the recognition from where I currently stand but this is not the only place to work wonders. Jesus himself continued to perform miracles but not in his home town. Maybe I too should expand my horizon.
It made sense that Jesus explicitly did not do many mighty works in his home town because people did not believe him. He could have chosen to do it there, but then why would he. Those people are simply not deserving recipients of his omnipotent grace. Based on my experience, anyone who is second-guessed would end up second-guessing himself. Can I do it? Do I want to do it? Why should I try to please someone who is just so critical and waits for my fall?
While I abhor judgmental and overly critical people, at times I too am guilty that my human frailty in its unguarded moments tend to be as harsh and as hasty on judging others. Now that I am aware of this, I pray that I grow to be more Christ-like.
My friend, the world can really be cruel and unkind but let this not stop us from our journey to blessedness. I still believe in love, peace and justice. I pray for your freedom from insecurities and resentment. When the world pushes us to the wall, may we learn how to step aside graciously, walk away and do our mighty works elsewhere. And as we perform our miracles for His glory, let us be secure knowing that we are loved and we are never alone.
Fastforward 2000 years, this episode in the gospel remains to be real and relevant. This is probably the curse of comparison which leads to the cancer called jealousy.
There was a time when I secretly wanted to be a man who's 10years my senior. I also wanted my name to be more foreign sounding and my family be a whole lot richer. I felt those traits would make me more respectable, appear more successful and be more commanding. I realized just like Jesus, no matter how much I try to be fit-in and be pleasant I will never be spared from self-righteous fault finders who are perfectly critical of mostly everything. Now that I know better, I am happy to be me--young, female, Filipino, God-fearing yet driven.
Although I try not to get affected by such people, their mere presence really shake my world and prey me to make more mistakes. I really hate character terrorists! Whether they do it up-front, side-ways or back-stab me in the process, I abhor their ways. It just doesn't suit my nature. I feel they are the culprits of low productivity, unhappiness, sleepless nights and stressful days.
The reading today gives me comfort as it reminds me that my life here on earth is but temporary. I may not be able get the appreciation much less the recognition from where I currently stand but this is not the only place to work wonders. Jesus himself continued to perform miracles but not in his home town. Maybe I too should expand my horizon.
It made sense that Jesus explicitly did not do many mighty works in his home town because people did not believe him. He could have chosen to do it there, but then why would he. Those people are simply not deserving recipients of his omnipotent grace. Based on my experience, anyone who is second-guessed would end up second-guessing himself. Can I do it? Do I want to do it? Why should I try to please someone who is just so critical and waits for my fall?
While I abhor judgmental and overly critical people, at times I too am guilty that my human frailty in its unguarded moments tend to be as harsh and as hasty on judging others. Now that I am aware of this, I pray that I grow to be more Christ-like.
My friend, the world can really be cruel and unkind but let this not stop us from our journey to blessedness. I still believe in love, peace and justice. I pray for your freedom from insecurities and resentment. When the world pushes us to the wall, may we learn how to step aside graciously, walk away and do our mighty works elsewhere. And as we perform our miracles for His glory, let us be secure knowing that we are loved and we are never alone.
Saturday, July 24, 2010
Sober Sower
I was reflecting on yesterday's Gospel about the Parable of the Sower. In the Homily, the priest said the seed is the Word of God and the soil is the state of the person who hears the Word of God. The parable gave us four kinds of soil or four types of people.
Pathway-people hears the word but doesn't understand it, thus they fall prey to the dark side of the force. Rocky-ground-people gets elated when they hear the word but the effect is short term. Thorns-people hears the word but gets preoccupied with worldly matters thus cutting off the very word they received. As you know, only the seed sown on a rich soil bears fruit. These are people who understand what they heard, remains committed to what they heard and have dedicated their lives to live according to the precepts of the Word.
I believe God wants us to be truly happy. I believe He sends us angels on earth to guide us on how to make the most out of life.
As profound as the parable already is, in my opinion this also cuts across advice we hear from people or from angels on earth. We hear countless advice on how to be fit and fabulous, how to have fulfilling relationships, how to have financial freedom etc. etc.
Just like the soil in the parable, people fall out of their goals because (1) they do not understand, (2) they are after quick-fixes or (3) they are preoccupied with something else. The point I'd like to drive at is the Gospel is practical as it is sacred. The way to become a rich soil on earth so we can reap our reward in heaven is for us to (1) value knowledge and develop understanding, (2) remain committed and most importantly (3) walk the talk...act.
The Parable of the Sower for me is a practical manual for us to be sober on earth. In my ABC, sober is the state of being calm. Calmness means peace. Peace is from God. Anything that is from Him and for Him is good.
My friend, may you and I become a sober sowers of God's peace. May we get transformed into the rich soil we ought to be.
Pathway-people hears the word but doesn't understand it, thus they fall prey to the dark side of the force. Rocky-ground-people gets elated when they hear the word but the effect is short term. Thorns-people hears the word but gets preoccupied with worldly matters thus cutting off the very word they received. As you know, only the seed sown on a rich soil bears fruit. These are people who understand what they heard, remains committed to what they heard and have dedicated their lives to live according to the precepts of the Word.
I believe God wants us to be truly happy. I believe He sends us angels on earth to guide us on how to make the most out of life.
As profound as the parable already is, in my opinion this also cuts across advice we hear from people or from angels on earth. We hear countless advice on how to be fit and fabulous, how to have fulfilling relationships, how to have financial freedom etc. etc.
Just like the soil in the parable, people fall out of their goals because (1) they do not understand, (2) they are after quick-fixes or (3) they are preoccupied with something else. The point I'd like to drive at is the Gospel is practical as it is sacred. The way to become a rich soil on earth so we can reap our reward in heaven is for us to (1) value knowledge and develop understanding, (2) remain committed and most importantly (3) walk the talk...act.
The Parable of the Sower for me is a practical manual for us to be sober on earth. In my ABC, sober is the state of being calm. Calmness means peace. Peace is from God. Anything that is from Him and for Him is good.
My friend, may you and I become a sober sowers of God's peace. May we get transformed into the rich soil we ought to be.
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
Obsession for Nothingness
Ever since I can remember I always set goals and strive damn hard to see a check beside that goal I've set. It makes me feel fulfilled. I thought that was enough to make me feel complete. Fulfillment as I know now is entirely different from being happy.
When I graduated from college, I envisioned my self to have a car, a place of my own, a great career, a high-paying job from a multi-national and of course, be a wife with a fairy tale like love story. All of those I targeted a good 10years to be fulfilled. I also have side goals each year--things I wanted to learn, stuff I wanted to have not just for me but for my family, places I wanted to visit and people I wanted to meet. True enough, those goals when met made me feel I achieved something.
Sadly though, I became obsessed fulfilling those goals that I forgot to review and really think things through if my goals were aligned to God's will. I was too persistent...too determined to give it up. I would even mask it as a mere challenge that He'd like me to hurdle. I was even proud to say I am not a quitter. Now, looking back...I realized if it was too hard, maybe it was not meant to be. I also know now that it is always wise to follow the path of least resistance.
There are so many things now that I don't understand. Where am I heading? What lies ahead? What should I do? Who will I be with for the rest of my life? Loads of hanging questions but I find rest knowing that I do not own my life. I find fulfillment knowing that God is in everything. Out of the uncertainty of tomorrow, I am left with the best option to totally trust Him today. That alone is more than enough reason to be happy.
Before this awakening, I was obsessed with goals and on meeting them. Regardless of how many, how big or how noble those goals are, if it does not find origin in God, I know now that it accounts for nothing. It was foolish of me to be obsessed with nothing. What's ironic is, now that I truly do not have anything and nothing to be obsessed about, the void gives space for peace. Though dependent on Him for mostly everything, I feel alive and truly happy. Now I am not bogged down by any disappointments for I know He is just preparing me for something better.
In the Gospel today, where Jesus revealed heavenly things to children, I earnestly pray to be child-like. I hope that experience and life lessons strip me off all pretenses, arrogance, fears and worries so that God could see me as I am and in the same manner so that I could recognize God in His utmost purest form.
Today I pray that both you and I be humble and trusting to what our heavenly Father wants. May you feel confident of His love just like how our earthly fathers made us feel loved. God bless you!
When I graduated from college, I envisioned my self to have a car, a place of my own, a great career, a high-paying job from a multi-national and of course, be a wife with a fairy tale like love story. All of those I targeted a good 10years to be fulfilled. I also have side goals each year--things I wanted to learn, stuff I wanted to have not just for me but for my family, places I wanted to visit and people I wanted to meet. True enough, those goals when met made me feel I achieved something.
Sadly though, I became obsessed fulfilling those goals that I forgot to review and really think things through if my goals were aligned to God's will. I was too persistent...too determined to give it up. I would even mask it as a mere challenge that He'd like me to hurdle. I was even proud to say I am not a quitter. Now, looking back...I realized if it was too hard, maybe it was not meant to be. I also know now that it is always wise to follow the path of least resistance.
There are so many things now that I don't understand. Where am I heading? What lies ahead? What should I do? Who will I be with for the rest of my life? Loads of hanging questions but I find rest knowing that I do not own my life. I find fulfillment knowing that God is in everything. Out of the uncertainty of tomorrow, I am left with the best option to totally trust Him today. That alone is more than enough reason to be happy.
Before this awakening, I was obsessed with goals and on meeting them. Regardless of how many, how big or how noble those goals are, if it does not find origin in God, I know now that it accounts for nothing. It was foolish of me to be obsessed with nothing. What's ironic is, now that I truly do not have anything and nothing to be obsessed about, the void gives space for peace. Though dependent on Him for mostly everything, I feel alive and truly happy. Now I am not bogged down by any disappointments for I know He is just preparing me for something better.
In the Gospel today, where Jesus revealed heavenly things to children, I earnestly pray to be child-like. I hope that experience and life lessons strip me off all pretenses, arrogance, fears and worries so that God could see me as I am and in the same manner so that I could recognize God in His utmost purest form.
Today I pray that both you and I be humble and trusting to what our heavenly Father wants. May you feel confident of His love just like how our earthly fathers made us feel loved. God bless you!
Thursday, July 8, 2010
Too Much Too Few
Quite frankly, I have nothing to offer anyone anything right now. Be that as it may, I feel I have so much to share. Although, I am still in my infancy stage in as far as my relationship to the Lord is concerned, He has profoundly gave me that sense of security that today will be better than tomorrow...and that each moment, for as long as it is done out of love is a testament that He truly lives in me and that is all He needed. Never have I thought that I would be loved...truly loved even without showering anyone with anything material.
Back in the day when I had much resources, I had very little time to think about these things much so sharing it with families and friends. My ears were for the managers and employees and for hour-long but many conference calls which cut across various timezones. My eyes were glued to emails I needed to respond to, letters I need to craft and presentation materials I have to report. I even had to have an extra PC monitor aside from my laptop so I can multi-task better. And when I say multi-task...I mean about more than a handful of tasks I juggle and squeeze into the 24-hour zone called a day...it was so full that before my day ends, another day begins and it leaves me plastered and worn out that I can't barely sleep. My hands were either stuck to the keyboard or tinkering my ever-vibrating blackberry. It was foolish for me to think that I was on top of my game. At 27years old, I was already holding a key position, handling a colossal task with global impact in a big multi-national company. Externally, I seem to look successful. Thanks to my condition called lumbar disc disease...long and straining as it is...it gave me that chance to have a fresh perspective and a new life.
I must have forgotten my purpose in life. I may be doing some good stuff but then again, was it what God really wanted me to do? I figured I was not happy. I felt I was sick. This illness has truly altered my life...this illness restored my life. I figured, just like the disciples, Jesus does not need me to be ultra-successful. He simply wants ordinary people to dedicate their lives to do extra-ordinary things for Him: cast out evil spirits, proclaim the gospel and be a living witness that faith and love cures everything.
Today, I wish you to be productive in your tasks. However, while you do your work, may you do it for the Lord and not for a promotion, not for a pay raise or for recognition. May your work find its origin to God...may all that you do bring Him glory.
Back in the day when I had much resources, I had very little time to think about these things much so sharing it with families and friends. My ears were for the managers and employees and for hour-long but many conference calls which cut across various timezones. My eyes were glued to emails I needed to respond to, letters I need to craft and presentation materials I have to report. I even had to have an extra PC monitor aside from my laptop so I can multi-task better. And when I say multi-task...I mean about more than a handful of tasks I juggle and squeeze into the 24-hour zone called a day...it was so full that before my day ends, another day begins and it leaves me plastered and worn out that I can't barely sleep. My hands were either stuck to the keyboard or tinkering my ever-vibrating blackberry. It was foolish for me to think that I was on top of my game. At 27years old, I was already holding a key position, handling a colossal task with global impact in a big multi-national company. Externally, I seem to look successful. Thanks to my condition called lumbar disc disease...long and straining as it is...it gave me that chance to have a fresh perspective and a new life.
I must have forgotten my purpose in life. I may be doing some good stuff but then again, was it what God really wanted me to do? I figured I was not happy. I felt I was sick. This illness has truly altered my life...this illness restored my life. I figured, just like the disciples, Jesus does not need me to be ultra-successful. He simply wants ordinary people to dedicate their lives to do extra-ordinary things for Him: cast out evil spirits, proclaim the gospel and be a living witness that faith and love cures everything.
Today, I wish you to be productive in your tasks. However, while you do your work, may you do it for the Lord and not for a promotion, not for a pay raise or for recognition. May your work find its origin to God...may all that you do bring Him glory.
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
Mute Moments
For someone opinionated and have much to share, there was a time that I became mute. Not in the literal sense of the word but mute in terms of not wanting to speak. I was either afraid of voicing out my deepest problems and facing the repercussion of putting it out in the open or ashamed of admitting the evil I tolerated or the good I have brushed aside. The Lord said cast your burdens unto Him so we could find rest. May we find courage to lift up those that make us mute...our insecurities and our fears so we could find peace and be liberated from those that chain us to sin.
My silent days are now over since Jesus became part of my life. I can now openly say that I was hurt and I rebuke pain. I can now claim peace and healing. I wish to remain transparent and true in all my dealings with people. I can now laugh at myself because He took my burdens away.
The ability to speak though should not be abused. It should be meant to heal not to hurt. It should pave the way for understanding and peace and not cause chaos or confusion. As they say, we need to tame our tongue...else, it would lead us to further sin. The words we speak and those we don't should both find origin and meaning from our Maker. Only when we are liberated from our own "mute" mode, can we speak to people about how light and how happy it is to remain in His presence.
My friend, I wish your liberation today from your "mute mode" moments. God bless!
My silent days are now over since Jesus became part of my life. I can now openly say that I was hurt and I rebuke pain. I can now claim peace and healing. I wish to remain transparent and true in all my dealings with people. I can now laugh at myself because He took my burdens away.
The ability to speak though should not be abused. It should be meant to heal not to hurt. It should pave the way for understanding and peace and not cause chaos or confusion. As they say, we need to tame our tongue...else, it would lead us to further sin. The words we speak and those we don't should both find origin and meaning from our Maker. Only when we are liberated from our own "mute" mode, can we speak to people about how light and how happy it is to remain in His presence.
My friend, I wish your liberation today from your "mute mode" moments. God bless!
Tuesday, July 6, 2010
Haunted to be Healed
Today, I made a choice not because I wanted to but because I have promised God that I am here to do His will. I place my full trust in Him that much as I truly would have wanted to keep what is making me happy, His will shold be done. The gospel today resonates how God through Jesus cares for us--healing our illness and giving us life. If He can cure Veronica (the woman who has been bleeding for 12 years) and could raise someone from the dead, He too can stop the pain which burdens us for years and bring hope to things we thought were already dead. I can relate to Veronica...I came out of a decade-long abusive relationship. As a daughter, I know my father too has for several times went and plea to Jesus that I come to my senses. I have turned my back from my family to fight for the man I thought I'd be spending the rest of my life with. At that time, I had a great job...I was earning almost 10times what a regular wage earner would get...but deep within I was dead. Gloomy as my current state might be, I can feel that I am at peace. Truly, if we take our heart, offer it to Him...our faith will make us well.
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