Secure with Insecurity

The gospel today talks about Jesus' background being questioned and criticized by people from his own home town. People raised their brows and took offense at him. Who is he? Who does he think he is? Why will someone who is so like us claim to be above all us? Where did he get his wisdom? Why can he do marvelous work? In effect, what they seem to really say is why him and not me?

Fastforward 2000 years, this episode in the gospel remains to be real and relevant. This is probably the curse of comparison which leads to the cancer called jealousy.

There was a time when I secretly wanted to be a man who's 10years my senior. I also wanted my name to be more foreign sounding and my family be a whole lot richer. I felt those traits would make me more respectable, appear more successful and be more commanding. I realized just like Jesus, no matter how much I try to be fit-in and be pleasant I will never be spared from self-righteous fault finders who are perfectly critical of mostly everything. Now that I know better, I am happy to be me--young, female, Filipino, God-fearing yet driven.

Although I try not to get affected by such people, their mere presence really shake my world and prey me to make more mistakes. I really hate character terrorists! Whether they do it up-front, side-ways or back-stab me in the process, I abhor their ways. It just doesn't suit my nature. I feel they are the culprits of low productivity, unhappiness, sleepless nights and stressful days.

The reading today gives me comfort as it reminds me that my life here on earth is but temporary. I may not be able get the appreciation much less the recognition from where I currently stand but this is not the only place to work wonders. Jesus himself continued to perform miracles but not in his home town. Maybe I too should expand my horizon.

It made sense that Jesus explicitly did not do many mighty works in his home town because people did not believe him. He could have chosen to do it there, but then why would he. Those people are simply not deserving recipients of his omnipotent grace. Based on my experience, anyone who is second-guessed would end up second-guessing himself. Can I do it? Do I want to do it? Why should I try to please someone who is just so critical and waits for my fall?

While I abhor judgmental and overly critical people, at times I too am guilty that my human frailty in its unguarded moments tend to be as harsh and as hasty on judging others. Now that I am aware of this, I pray that I grow to be more Christ-like.

My friend, the world can really be cruel and unkind but let this not stop us from our journey to blessedness. I still believe in love, peace and justice. I pray for your freedom from insecurities and resentment. When the world pushes us to the wall, may we learn how to step aside graciously, walk away and do our mighty works elsewhere. And as we perform our miracles for His glory, let us be secure knowing that we are loved and we are never alone.